On Self-Loving

7.11.2015

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I think this is a topic that not many people would choose to talk about openly.


After all, this could be perceived as something inferior, something to be embarrassed about. But of course, it is subjective. So I don't speak for anybody but myself.

I don't have many friends. Acquaintances, yes. Friends, not really. Most people come and go, few stay, fewer stay put and never frizz out.

And sometimes, this makes me sad.

I admit that I do feel conscious about this. And sometimes it makes me bitter thinking about how small my inner circle is. But when I think about the bond that I have built with these limited few, I perk up... and then my heart sinks again because my mind starts badgering me with how "you only have these friends - ha!" After a while, I'll be okay. And then the cycle repeats.

This is not an emo post, nor is it one that teaches you what you should do when things like this happen. It's that once-in-a-while reminder-to-self kind of post. Because I've come to the realisation that at the end of the day, I care too much about how others think to the point that I depend on friends/people to be happy. I simply do not know how to love myself.

Self-loving. It's not a narcissistic expression. It's a habit that every individual should embrace wholeheartedly. I recently read this article titled What Self-Loving People Do Individually and found these three points to be really meaningful.

Self-loving people sleep on it. 
"As we learn to respect ourselves, we become more long-term oriented. Instead of caving to momentary impulses and immediate gratification, self-loving people will sleep on it and weigh the outcomes of important decisions. Paradoxically enough, being able to delay gratification and think about long-term outcomes gives us the ability to enjoy our lives more in every single moment, because that "long-term" that we're always thinking about becomes our entire way of life."

Self-loving people teach people how to treat them and walk away if they cannot.
"...self-loving people approach relationships from a place of self-sufficiency. They know what they need to feel respected and they know what they have to offer. They gently teach the people around them about their boundaries and, if those are crossed repeatedly, they have the courage to walk away."

3. Self-loving people admit their mistakes.
"Those who don't have self-respect are always measuring themselves against some outside standard. In many cases, that standard is being "right." They feel good when they're right and crestfallen when they're wrong, because their whole sense of identity is wrapped up in these labels. Self-loving people tend to identify with more permanent parts of their experience, rather than temporary states like right/wrong, old/young, happy/sad. They feel a deep, unconditional acceptance of themselves, which gives them the power to practice self-improvement without losing self-love. Thus, they not only admit when they're wrong, they expect to be."

I think self-loving, if done right, has another word for it: emotional maturity. With that then will i have the psychological strength to banish away the self-defeating afterthought of "and then my heart sinks because my mind starts badgering me with how "you only have these friends - ha!""

In the article, the author writes, "Now, I see happy people and I smile, knowing that their lives are products of a series of habits that support their relationships with themselves." And I give a heartfelt nod in my head and aspire to become the bigger and much happier individual. ☺

Signing off with the sound of the month: Jessie J - Who You Are

 
  x Becks


Brunch Crunch: Pacamara's Breakfast Plate Is My New Favourite

7.05.2015

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Pacamara is my new favourite brunch place.

Bright and airy with a communal dining concept, it sits at the corner of Upper Thomson Road and Jalan Pelatina, right across from Shell Petrol Station. There are two reasons why I love this place: firstly because it's "Instagram-worthy"; secondly because their breakfast plate contains everything that I look for in my, well, breakfast plate.

Seems like one of the most important things that you should look out for when you start a new cafe venture today is its aesthetics. Are there ample lighting for a good camwhore shot? Are the tables clean and pretty to complement a flatlay? Doesn't matter if the food taste just okay, but are they nicely plated? There's no denying it - we are the social media generation and Instagram is our ammunition.

As for the breakfast platter... hey, as long as there is a hash brown in my breakfast platter, I'm all good. The crunchy toast, Alain Milliat jam and smoked salmon, though, were the tasteful bonuses that accompanied my jackpot hash brown. Yum!

Pacamara Boutique Coffee Roasters
185 Upper Thomson Road

Our Home, Our Heart, Our Singapore

6.10.2015

An expat friend once said to me, “Singapore doesn’t feel like the real world”. It’s too clean, too safe, and too politically correct, among other things. He didn’t mean to be offensive. But it got me thinking, what’s wrong with that?

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There’s nothing wrong with being all that. Look where we are today. We are one of the world’s major commercials hubs and busiest ports, one of the highest ranked in standards of living, education, healthcare, and economic competitiveness, and one of the most diversified and globalised countries in the world.

Perhaps we do lack in some areas (perfection is a myth), but this little red dot has accomplished endeavors way beyond expectations. That is why Singapore’s Golden Jubilee is such a big milestone for us. We may be a young country, but we are wiser beyond our age. Oh my, I have a sudden urge to say that I am, truly, blessed to be a Singaporean!

So last week, I got the chance to catch a glimpse of the NDP2015 Funpack and bring one home (I know, lucky me).

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This year’s funpack comes in 50 different designs to commemorate Singapore’s 50th birthday, each designed by Singaporeans from all walks of life. This includes “designers” as young as six-year-olds, seniors from the Geylang East Home for the Aged; celebs like Vernetta Lopez and Dick Lee, as well as (real) designers from The Design Collaborative, and more.

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Being uniquely Singaporeans… we all want to find out how the funpack looks like and what goodies will be in it, right? Besides that, we also want a piece of the funpack that is to become an SG50 keepsake.

So, good news: Every household will be receiving an SG Funpack. We’re talking 1.2 million in total – woah.

There will be two types of funpacks this year – an SG Funpack and an NDP Funpack. The difference? Not much, just that the NDP Funpack will include more sustenance and interactive items to participate in the parade. All in all, the goal is to curate a meaningful funpack filled with not just contents, but memories.

Here’s what I received in my funpack…

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This year’s theme is ‘Majulah Singapura’. Other than the usual suspects (the Singapore flag, interactive items and temporary Singapore theme tattoos), you can expect to see other items that convey stories of our yesteryears. They remind me of the quirks of being a Singaporean, and that we do have an identity that we can call our own.

Can you spot the lollipop, chocolate bangle candy; pick up sticks and country erasers? A mixture of nostalgic snack and games pack will be available in every funpack, so you might receive another old-school item like haw flakes or a deck of Donkey card game.

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Remember Singa The Lion from the Kindness Movement? One of 15 commemorative figures of the Singa Lion will be included in every funpack this year. Wish I got that pilot one! But no matter, these figurines will be available for purchase at The Kindness Gallery from July onwards.

The funpack might seem like the centerpiece of our SG50 celebrations, but don’t be mistaken. There are way more exciting events happening to celebrate our nation’s Golden Jubilee together as one.

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At the media event, other than checking out the funpack designs, I also got to pen down my thank-you and well wishes for Singapore through the “Birthday Wish for Singapore” Postcards.

The “A Funpack from Me to You” Project will also allow Singaporeans to pack a funpack for another fellow Singaporean. Volunteers from VWOs such as the Association for Persons with Special Needs, as well as students from Temasek Junior College will be participating in this meaningful initiative. All in the spirit of bringing fellow country mates closer. ☺

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Born and bred in Singapore, nothing makes me prouder than to see my country grow, and to grow with my country as one. I’ll be looking forward to joining more of our SG50 celebrations!
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